Author: Baylee Snelling

I’m Not Waiting for Closure

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For a long time, I thought closure was something I needed in order to move forward.
A conversation.
An apology.
An explanation that made everything make sense.

But life doesn’t always offer that.

Some stories don’t wrap up neatly.
Some questions stay unanswered.
Some endings come without the clarity we hoped for.

And waiting for closure can quietly turn into waiting on life to begin again.

Lately, I’ve been realizing that I don’t have to wait for everything to make sense before I keep living.
I don’t need every loose end tied.
I don’t need a final chapter before I turn the page.

There’s a different kind of peace that comes from accepting what is —
from releasing the need to understand it all
and choosing to move forward anyway.

Not because it didn’t matter.
But because I matter too.

So I’m not waiting for closure.
I’m choosing presence.
I’m choosing the next right step.
I’m choosing to live fully in the middle — even if some things remain unfinished.

And that feels like freedom.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
— Isaiah 43:18–19 (NIV)

Held by His Faithfulness

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Some weeks remind me just how fragile I am.
How easily shaken.
How much I want certainty, protection, assurance that nothing will slip through my fingers.

And then I remember this truth:

I am not held by my own strength.
I am held by His faithfulness.

Scripture doesn’t promise that life will be easy or predictable.
But it does promise something better — something steadier.

God is faithful.
Not occasionally.
Not when circumstances cooperate.
But always.

He strengthens us not just for what we can see,
but for what we can’t.
For fears we don’t yet have language for.
For discouragement that creeps in quietly.

There is comfort in knowing that even when I feel unsure,
even when my footing feels unsteady,
even when I don’t trust myself to hold it all together —

He does.

So this Sunday, I’m not asking for perfect peace or clear answers.
I’m resting in the kind of security that doesn’t depend on either.

The faithfulness of God is enough to stand on.
Enough to trust.
Enough to carry me through whatever comes next.

“But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”
— 2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV)

All Is Calm

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All is calm.
All is right.

After days of holding my breath,
my heart settles back into its familiar rhythm.

Little hands back where they belong.
Laughter echoing through rooms that felt too quiet.
Christmas lights glowing a little warmer tonight.

Nothing extravagant.
Nothing loud.

Just presence.
Just peace returning to its place.

And as the house grows still,
I let myself rest in it—

grateful,
grounded,
home again.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.”
— Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

The Quiet Test

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Every time I start to feel like God isn’t there,
I remember something simple:

The teacher is always quiet during the test.

Silence doesn’t mean absence.
Sometimes it means you’re being trusted to keep going
with what you already know —
the truth you’ve learned, the faith you’ve practiced,
the strength you didn’t know you were building.

Because tests aren’t meant to feel easy.
They’re meant to reveal who you’re becoming.

Not in moments of certainty,
but in the quiet ones —
where you choose to stay faithful without being reminded why.

And maybe that’s the real work of the silence:
not to break you,
but to form something steady that lasts.

“Let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”
— James 1:4 (CSB)

Meet Me Where I Am

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Lately, I’ve been learning what it means to meet myself where I am.

Not where I wish I were.
Not where I think I should be by now.
Just… here.

It’s harder than it sounds.

I’m quick to extend grace outward, but slower to offer it inward.
Quick to trust that God meets me in my weakness —
but hesitant to sit honestly with that weakness myself.

So often, I rush past the present moment.
I tell myself to be stronger, more healed, more settled.
As if becoming requires skipping over where I actually stand.

But maybe growth doesn’t start with pushing forward.
Maybe it starts with staying.

Staying long enough to acknowledge the tiredness.
The questions.
The ache that hasn’t fully lifted yet.

Meeting myself where I am doesn’t mean giving up.
It means telling the truth.
And trusting that God is already there — not waiting for a better version of me to arrive.

When I slow down enough to be honest with myself,
I find that grace doesn’t feel so far away.
It feels close.
Gentle.
Steady.

And maybe that’s the work of this season —
learning to stand where I am, without shame,
and letting God meet me there too.

“For He knows how we are formed; He remembers that we are dust.”
— Psalm 103:14 (NIV)

The Space Between

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This evening begins 6 days —
144 hours.
8,640 minutes
without my whole heart with me.

That number makes my chest tighten a little.

None of this timing was mine to choose.
The plans were made. The schedule laid out.
And I’ve been quietly dreading it ever since.

Time is strange, isn’t it?
We beg it to slow down —
then suddenly, we need it to fly.
To disappear.
To carry us somewhere that doesn’t ache quite so much.

I think these are the moments that shape us most.
The ones where everything feels stretched —
heart, soul, time.

And here I am, sitting in it.

I could resist it.
Run from it.
Let the ache name me.

Or I could do the harder thing:
lean in.
Not into the absence —
but into the One who meets me here.

I’m not sure what the next 8,640 minutes will hold.
But I know this:
I won’t walk through a single one of them alone.

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
— John 14:18 (KJV)

Where Greed Hides

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We’ve been talking about the spiritual disciplines at church.
Last week, the conversation was about generosity.
This week, it was about greed.

And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how the two aren’t always as separate as we like to think.

Because greed doesn’t always look like hoarding money or climbing some corporate ladder.
Sometimes it looks like holding back in quieter ways —
the kind we justify.

Like struggling to give our time.
Or hesitating to offer encouragement.
Or keeping our prayers to ourselves because we don’t want to say the wrong thing.

We tell ourselves it’s not greed.
It’s busyness.
Or insecurity.
Or boundaries.

But what if it’s more than that?
What if greed is anything that keeps us from living open-handed —
with our time, our words, our presence, our resources?

I’m realizing that greed hides in the small things.
In the moments when I pull back instead of lean in.
When I protect my own comfort instead of offering someone else mine.
When I talk myself out of giving because I don’t have “enough” — time, energy, words, wisdom.

But the truth is, if God asked me to give it,
He’s already given me enough to do it.

So maybe the better question isn’t “Am I generous?”
Maybe it’s: Where am I still holding back?
And why?

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
— 2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV)

Daily Bread

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Some seasons don’t feel like forward motion.
They feel like circles.
Like prayers prayed a hundred times over.
Like showing up, again and again, to the same hard place —
with nothing to show for it but faith.

It can feel like nothing is happening.
No breakthroughs. No answers. No big, sweeping change.
Just… more waiting.
More unknown.
More of the same.

But what if the change isn’t out there?
What if it’s in you?

What if the waiting is where you’re being refined —
gently, slowly, quietly —
into someone more surrendered, more rooted, more whole?

Maybe this is what He’s teaching you:
You don’t need to see the whole map to keep walking.
You don’t need tomorrow’s provision to trust Him today.
You just need the daily bread He promised.

Not clarity for the next year.
Just courage for the next step.

You’re learning to walk by faith —
not by sight.

And that’s no small thing.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
— Psalm 119:105 (ESV)

Behind the Box

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I found this tucked behind a box I picked up at Costco the other day.

I was just moving through the motions of my day — nothing special, just errands and the usual rhythm. But then, there it was:

A handwritten verse in orange marker, outlined in cloud shapes:

I stood there for a second, just looking at it — like I had been smacked in the face with God’s love when I least expected it.

I looked around, wondering if someone was watching, hoping to see someone smile as they saw me find it.
I even thought about leaving it behind — maybe someone else needed the reminder more than I did.
Maybe someone who didn’t know God yet.

But then it hit me.

I was the one who needed to find it.
I was the one who needed to taste and see.
I was the one who needed that gentle reminder that God is still good… right here, in the middle of my everyday.

So I tucked it in my purse and continued on my way —
pushing the cart with little feet kicking along,
feeling the truth settle into my heart again:

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.

And oh, how blessed I am.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”
— Psalm 34:8 (KJV)

What I Hope He Remembers

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I won’t be a perfect mother.
But I hope he remembers the kind of love that stayed.

I hope he remembers arms that held him close,
even when the world felt unsteady.
A voice that whispered comfort,
even when mine was tired.
A presence that didn’t walk away —
not in the chaos,
not in the quiet,
not in the mess.

And maybe, just maybe,
that kind of love will remind him of God’s.

Because if I’ve learned anything,
it’s that His love shows up the same way —
not waiting for the mess to be cleaned up,
not holding back until we’re stronger,
but entering in, again and again,
with kindness, patience, and grace.

That’s the kind of love I want to model.
Not flawless,
but faithful.
Not perfect,
but present.

So no, I won’t get it all right.
But I hope he sees the reflection —
of a God who stays.
Of a love that never leaves.
Of grace that shows up in the middle and calls it holy.

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
— 1 John 4:16 (NIV)