The Turning Point I Can’t Yet See

Some days I feel stuck in the middle.
Between what I prayed for and what is.
Between the heartbreak and the healing.
Between the promise and the “But God…” moment.

I read stories in Scripture where everything shifts in a single verse.
Like Joseph — who was betrayed, abandoned, forgotten.
And yet one day, he looks back on it all and says:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” (Genesis 50:20)

I long for that clarity.
That redemptive hindsight.
That moment when the pain finally makes sense.

But I’m not there yet.
I’m still standing in the stretch.
Still aching for the shift.
Still wondering when the turn will come.

And still —
I’m choosing to believe in a God who works behind the scenes,
who writes stories that take time,
who brings beauty even from broken things.

The turning point may not have come yet.
But it’s not gone.
And my story isn’t finished.

He’s still writing.

For Now, We Leave It

Last night after Beckett’s bath, I caught sight of the wall behind me in the mirror—a scatter of foam letters clinging in every direction, left exactly the way he placed them.

I almost picked them up. That’s what I usually do—tidy things, put them back where they belong. But something about this scene made me stop.

The bright reds and yellows. The upside-down twos. The jumbled alphabet, full of joy and nonsense all at once.

So instead of cleaning, I took a picture. And I left it.

Because one day, I’ll put these letters away for good.

One day, the tub will stay clean.

The walls will stay bare.

The toys will stop showing up in places that don’t make sense.

And while I love order, I know I’ll long for this more.


“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12

It isn’t about counting time as much as noticing it—treasuring the little, ordinary moments that are easy to overlook. The jumbled letters on the wall. The bedtime routines. The small traces of a little boy who won’t always be little.

These moments are fleeting, but they are holy in their own way. They remind me to hold onto the beauty of right now—not just the milestones or the tidy, picture-perfect versions, but the messy, imperfect, ordinary ones too.

So last night, the letters stayed.

The mess stayed.

The reminder stayed.

For now, we leave it.

A Love Letter to My Future

I haven’t met you yet —
not fully.
Not the way I hope to.
Not the way I will.

But I think about you often.

I wonder how your laugh sounds now,
freer than before.
How your eyes rest softer
because you no longer flinch at love that stays.

I wonder what peace feels like in your body —
if your shoulders sit a little lower,
if your breath comes easier,
if joy has found a home in the spaces where grief once settled.

You are who I’m becoming,
but some days, I still feel far away from you.
Still in the middle.
Still aching, healing, hoping.

So I write to you not as someone who’s arrived,
but as someone still on the road.
Still limping forward with faith in one hand
and surrender in the other.

You are the proof that the story didn’t end in the valley.
That I was not buried by what tried to break me.
That resurrection was more than just a word I whispered on Sundays.

You are the woman who gets to love from wholeness.
Who walks in rooms without apology.
Who trusts God — not just for others,
but for herself too.

I don’t need to rush to you.
You’re not running out of time.
And I am not too late.

We’re just becoming.
One breath at a time.
And I’m already so proud of you.

Love,
The version of you who’s still holding on.

The Mountain Where Trust Was Tested

There’s a story in Scripture that’s been close to my heart lately —
Abraham. Isaac. And a mountain no one wanted to climb.

God asked Abraham to lay down the very thing He had given him —
his long-awaited son.
And Abraham said yes.

Not because it made sense,
but because he trusted God’s heart,
even when the path didn’t look like provision.

Someone reminded me recently:
“I like to think the lamb was already on its way up the other side of the mountain.”

That stayed with me.

Because that’s what faith is, isn’t it?
Trusting that God is already providing —
even when all you can see is loss.

We may not understand the mountain,
but we can trust the One who meets us there.

He hasn’t forgotten.
He’s still writing the story.
And the thicket is never empty.

He’s Not Finished Yet

There are days when hope feels like a stranger.
When everything I thought would be — isn’t.
When the pain feels louder than the promise,
and I wonder if this is where the story ends.

I think of Mary.
Weeping at the foot of the cross.
Heart shattered.
Hope buried beneath the weight of what she couldn’t make sense of.

What she didn’t realize was…
Easter was coming.

The silence wasn’t the final word.
The grief wasn’t the whole story.
And the cross wasn’t the end.

Sometimes, I find myself standing in the same kind of ache —
facing heartbreak I didn’t ask for,
surrounded by questions without answers,
unsure of what’s ahead
or if anything good can come from here.

But then I remember…

God doesn’t leave things undone.
He doesn’t abandon stories halfway through.
He doesn’t hand us the pen and walk away.

Even when I can’t see how He’s moving,
He is still writing.
Still redeeming.
Still resurrecting.

The hope I need today might not be in a happy ending —
but in the quiet truth that this isn’t the end.

Because even when all hope seems lost,
my story isn’t over.
And the Author of my life
isn’t finished yet.

Faith in the Flicker

Faith in the Flicker

Some days, my faith isn’t loud.

It doesn’t rise with bold declarations or feel steady and unshakable.

It flickers —
like a candle near an open window,
trembling just to stay lit.

But I’m learning that God doesn’t measure my faith in volume.

He sees the quiet yes.
The whispered prayers.
The breath I take before I try again.
The tears I cry while still choosing to believe.

He doesn’t shame me when I’m unsure.
He doesn’t back away when I’m tired.
He doesn’t need me to be brave to stay close.

Even the smallest spark is enough for Him to work with.

Because He’s not waiting on my strength —
He’s offering me His.

And even when I feel like I’m barely holding on,
I’m still held.

The Mountain in Front of Me

I read something recently:
“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.”

And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Because some days, the mountain looks impossible.
Too steep.
Too heavy.
Too unmovable.

And yet — here I am.
Still standing at its base.
Still taking steps toward the summit.

Maybe that’s the point.
Not that I have to move it all at once,
but that each small step is proof
that it can be moved.

That with God,
even the impossible shifts.

And maybe one day,
when I’m on the other side,
I’ll turn around and see
that the mountain was never just mine to climb —
it was my testimony.

The Table Set Before Me

This morning felt like holy chaos.

My sister came with her four little ones,
and I had Beckett.

We spilled across multiple rows in the Father’s house —
passing babies from arm to arm,
slipping in and out of the pews,
quieting cries,
sharing smiles.

It was loud and unpolished,
and yet somehow,
it was perfect.

Because even here —
in the bustle and the noise,
in the interruptions and the laughter —
I could feel it:

“You prepare a table before me.”
— Psalm 23:5

Not a table set with silver and stillness,
but one overflowing with family,
with joy,
with the sacred sound of being together.

This is the feast I didn’t know I was hungry for.
And this is the house where my cup runs over.

When Restoration Looks Different

Today my mom shared a verse with me:
“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”
— Joel 2:25

I’ve been thinking about what restoration really means.

I used to imagine it as getting back exactly what was lost —
like God would hand me the same dream,
only without the heartbreak attached.

But the more I sit with this,
the more I realize restoration often looks different than we expect.

It doesn’t always come as a perfect rewind.
It comes as something new.
Something reshaped by the breaking,
stronger because of what it’s been through.

Sometimes, it’s quieter than I imagined.
Sometimes, it’s not even in the same form.
And sometimes, it comes so slowly
I don’t recognize it until I’m already standing in it.

God doesn’t restore by replacing.
He restores by redeeming.

The years that felt wasted,
the dreams that felt devoured —
they may not come back the way I pictured.
But they will come back.

Not because I know how,
but because He promised they would.

In the Meantime

Some seasons feel like slow motion.
Like you’re doing all the right things —
but nothing is changing.

You’re loving the best you can.
Praying, hoping, planting seeds.
And still… waiting.

It’s easy to feel overlooked here.
To wonder if any of it is working.
If the small, faithful things really matter.

But then I come back to this:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.”
— Galatians 6:9

And I remember…

God honors what no one else sees.
The quiet consistency.
The choice to stay soft when it would be easier to shut down.
The everyday good that doesn’t make headlines,
but makes a life.

Maybe the harvest is coming.
Maybe it’s already unfolding —
slowly, silently, in ways I can’t yet see.

So I’ll keep tending what He’s given me.
Trusting that in the meantime…
He’s still growing something good.