Healing

Meet Me Where I Am

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

Lately, I’ve been learning what it means to meet myself where I am.

Not where I wish I were.
Not where I think I should be by now.
Just… here.

It’s harder than it sounds.

I’m quick to extend grace outward, but slower to offer it inward.
Quick to trust that God meets me in my weakness —
but hesitant to sit honestly with that weakness myself.

So often, I rush past the present moment.
I tell myself to be stronger, more healed, more settled.
As if becoming requires skipping over where I actually stand.

But maybe growth doesn’t start with pushing forward.
Maybe it starts with staying.

Staying long enough to acknowledge the tiredness.
The questions.
The ache that hasn’t fully lifted yet.

Meeting myself where I am doesn’t mean giving up.
It means telling the truth.
And trusting that God is already there — not waiting for a better version of me to arrive.

When I slow down enough to be honest with myself,
I find that grace doesn’t feel so far away.
It feels close.
Gentle.
Steady.

And maybe that’s the work of this season —
learning to stand where I am, without shame,
and letting God meet me there too.

“For He knows how we are formed; He remembers that we are dust.”
— Psalm 103:14 (NIV)

The Space Between

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

This evening begins 6 days —
144 hours.
8,640 minutes
without my whole heart with me.

That number makes my chest tighten a little.

None of this timing was mine to choose.
The plans were made. The schedule laid out.
And I’ve been quietly dreading it ever since.

Time is strange, isn’t it?
We beg it to slow down —
then suddenly, we need it to fly.
To disappear.
To carry us somewhere that doesn’t ache quite so much.

I think these are the moments that shape us most.
The ones where everything feels stretched —
heart, soul, time.

And here I am, sitting in it.

I could resist it.
Run from it.
Let the ache name me.

Or I could do the harder thing:
lean in.
Not into the absence —
but into the One who meets me here.

I’m not sure what the next 8,640 minutes will hold.
But I know this:
I won’t walk through a single one of them alone.

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
— John 14:18 (KJV)

What I Hope He Remembers

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I won’t be a perfect mother.
But I hope he remembers the kind of love that stayed.

I hope he remembers arms that held him close,
even when the world felt unsteady.
A voice that whispered comfort,
even when mine was tired.
A presence that didn’t walk away —
not in the chaos,
not in the quiet,
not in the mess.

And maybe, just maybe,
that kind of love will remind him of God’s.

Because if I’ve learned anything,
it’s that His love shows up the same way —
not waiting for the mess to be cleaned up,
not holding back until we’re stronger,
but entering in, again and again,
with kindness, patience, and grace.

That’s the kind of love I want to model.
Not flawless,
but faithful.
Not perfect,
but present.

So no, I won’t get it all right.
But I hope he sees the reflection —
of a God who stays.
Of a love that never leaves.
Of grace that shows up in the middle and calls it holy.

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
— 1 John 4:16 (NIV)

The Boundary of Grace

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

We’re called to give.
To serve.
To love freely and fully.

But what happens when the giving leaves us empty?
When our “yes” becomes so stretched that it starts to break us?
When helping starts to feel more like being used than being useful?

Scripture tells us to give without expecting anything in return —
but it never says to give without wisdom.

Even Jesus — fully God, fully love — stepped away to rest.
He said no to the crowd, so He could say yes to the Father.
He gave, but He didn’t give Himself away recklessly.

There is a kind of giving that reflects God’s heart.
And there is a kind that forgets He gave you one, too.

So if you’re in a season where it feels like your love is being taken for granted,
where your kindness keeps getting confused with availability,
where your serving has started to hurt —

you’re allowed to pause.

Not from love.
Not from grace.
But from saying yes to what God never asked of you.

Protecting your peace doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you a good steward of the one life He’s given you.

So give —
but don’t pour from an empty cup.
Love —
but not at the cost of losing yourself.
Serve —
but let it come from a place of overflow, not obligation.

Your worth isn’t proven by how much you can stretch.
It’s held — always — in the hands of the One who stretched Himself for you.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
— Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

The Grace of Starting Small

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There’s something sacred about small beginnings.
Not because they feel impressive.
But because they don’t.

They’re quiet.
Hidden.
Often unnoticed by anyone but God.

He rejoices just to see the first step.
Not the outcome.
Not the moment everything finally makes sense.

Sometimes, that beginning looks like showing up even when your heart is heavy.
Sometimes, it’s choosing to hope again after a season of survival.
Sometimes, it’s a whispered prayer when you’re not sure how to believe anymore.

It’s easy to overlook these moments.
To dismiss them as too small to matter.
But God doesn’t.

He sees the healing you’re walking toward.
The courage it took just to start.
The faith it takes to try again.

So don’t rush past this beginning.
Don’t despise the slow, quiet steps.
Don’t count yourself out just because it doesn’t look like much yet.

You’re never too far gone to begin again.

God is already in it.
Cheering you on.
Calling it good.

And that’s more than enough to keep going.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”
— Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

Flowers in the Concrete

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I read something recently:
“You are allowing flowers to grow in between the concrete of your grief.”

What beautiful imagery.
And yet — why does it feel so hard to do?

It’s easy to get caught up in our circumstances.
To stay angry at the past.
To worry about what’s ahead.
So much so, we forget to notice the beauty that’s already blooming around us.
We forget to live here, in the now.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about thankfulness.
It seems like such a simple thing.
“I’m so thankful I slept well last night.”
“I’m thankful I didn’t have to get out in the rain.”

Those are good things — small gifts worth noticing.
But I wanted to go deeper.

The root of the word thankfulness comes from Old English.
And it’s closely tied to the idea of thought and kindness.

Etymology:
“Thank” comes from Old English þanc (pronounced thah-nk),
which meant thought, gratitude, goodwill.
It’s related to the verb þencan, meaning to think.

So at its root, thankfulness literally means:
“A thoughtful awareness of goodness.”

Not a passing moment of gratitude,
but a deliberate choice to see what’s still good —
especially when life feels hard.

That’s what I want this season to hold.
Not just a long list of blessings.
But a heart that’s thoughtfully aware of the goodness around me,
even when grief is still growing in the cracks.

I want to see the flowers —
not in spite of the concrete,
but because of it.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.”
— Psalm 136:1 (NIV)

Burn the Ships

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There’s a phrase I’ve come to love:
Burn the ships.

It’s a metaphor rooted in a historical moment — when explorers arrived on new land and burned their ships so there was no turning back. No retreat. No plan B.
Only forward.

It means full commitment.
It means letting go of what once carried you.
It means choosing not to return to the very thing God rescued you from.

Lately, I’ve felt this stirring in my spirit —
to stop entertaining the “what ifs” and “maybes” of going back.
To stop peeking over my shoulder at the comfort of the familiar, even if the familiar was broken.
To stop waiting for closure or validation or proof that I made the right call.

Sometimes, you don’t get that.

Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is move forward anyway.

Burning the ships doesn’t mean you hate where you came from.
It just means you’re not going to live there anymore.
You’re not going to worship a past version of your life
just because it’s what you knew.

You’re going to trust the God who calls you into the unknown.
You’re going to walk away, even with trembling legs,
because you finally believe He has something better ahead.

I don’t know what your “ship” is.
But I know what mine are.
And I know the quiet freedom that comes when I set them aflame —
not in bitterness,
but in boldness.

Because sometimes the fire that ends one thing
is the same fire that lights the way forward.

Anchor Verse:
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…”
— Philippians 3:13–14 (NIV)

Learning to See What’s Holy

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Discernment means spiritual understanding.
It’s the ability to sense or recognize what is true, right, or aligned with God —
even when things are confusing or painful.

It’s not just about decision-making.
It’s about seeing with wisdom instead of emotion alone.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if God is teaching me this.
Not by handing me answers,
but by letting me wrestle with what peace feels like.
By letting me feel the difference between what’s real and what just looks good.
By staying near while I learn how to tell the difference.

In this kind of season, discernment often doesn’t come all at once.
It’s something God shapes slowly —
in the quiet, in the questions, and in the in‑between places.

It looks like learning to tell the difference between peace and pressure.
To feel what’s rooted in Him, and what’s driven by fear or control.
It’s recognizing His presence even in hard places —
remembering that just because something hurts doesn’t mean He’s absent.
And it’s trusting His timing, even when waiting feels like a wilderness.
Because sometimes clarity grows best in the pause.

So when I asked, “Why would God allow this?”
Or, “What could He possibly be doing with this?”
Maybe part of the answer is:
He’s helping me see what’s holy in the middle of it.

Not just what’s happening,
but what He’s shaping in me as it happens.

And maybe that’s what discernment really is —
not just clarity, but closeness.

Anchor Verse
“Teach me good judgment and discernment, for I rely on your commands.”
Psalm 119:66 (CSB)

The Holes We Keep Digging

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“You’re not good enough.”
Digs hole.

“You wouldn’t be anywhere without me.”
Digs hole deeper.

“You’ll never amount to anything.”
And deeper.

“You’re crazy.”
And deeper.

“You need help.”
And deeper still.

Until the voice that started as a whisper feels like it’s echoing off the walls of the pit you’re standing in.

And then…
that’s when Satan smiles.
Because that’s exactly where he wants you — buried beneath lies that sound a little too familiar to question.

But here’s the thing:
You don’t belong in that hole.
You were never meant to live underground.

The same voice that called Lazarus out of the tomb is calling you too.
And the ground that once held you captive?
It’s shaking.

Because truth is louder than lies.
And grace is stronger than guilt.
And even here —
even now —
you can stop digging.

Anchor Verse:

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”
Psalm 40:2 (NIV)

Scared Then, Brave Now

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Five years ago — almost to the day — I wrote these words in the notes app on my phone:

“Having faith doesn’t always mean God will change our situation, it may mean that He changes us. I prayed more fervently than ever before for the Lord to change my situation. He knew what He was doing, just like He always does, and changed me. Ultimately, my situation did change. I know now, for the better. God knows exactly where we need to be, at the exact time that we need to be there and He NEVER leaves us. I was terrified of what would come, but knew that God was in control. As Pete the Cat (and my nieces) say, ‘you have to be scared to be brave.’ I was scared, and now, now I am brave.”

Reading that now, five years later — in a season I never could’ve anticipated — I realize how true those words still are.

Life feels a little like a merry-go-round sometimes. We come back around to familiar places. We feel things we thought we’d already worked through. We revisit fears we thought we had outgrown.

And yet, God still meets us there. Every time.

I didn’t know back then that I’d need those words again now. That the prayers I whispered in that season would echo again in this one. But that’s what He does — He weaves grace through time. He anchors us with reminders from our own journey.

I was scared then.
And I’m not fearless now — not really.
But I am brave.
Because I know who’s standing beside me.

Anchor Verse:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)