Healing

Flowers in the Concrete

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

I read something recently:
“You are allowing flowers to grow in between the concrete of your grief.”

What beautiful imagery.
And yet — why does it feel so hard to do?

It’s easy to get caught up in our circumstances.
To stay angry at the past.
To worry about what’s ahead.
So much so, we forget to notice the beauty that’s already blooming around us.
We forget to live here, in the now.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about thankfulness.
It seems like such a simple thing.
“I’m so thankful I slept well last night.”
“I’m thankful I didn’t have to get out in the rain.”

Those are good things — small gifts worth noticing.
But I wanted to go deeper.

The root of the word thankfulness comes from Old English.
And it’s closely tied to the idea of thought and kindness.

Etymology:
“Thank” comes from Old English þanc (pronounced thah-nk),
which meant thought, gratitude, goodwill.
It’s related to the verb þencan, meaning to think.

So at its root, thankfulness literally means:
“A thoughtful awareness of goodness.”

Not a passing moment of gratitude,
but a deliberate choice to see what’s still good —
especially when life feels hard.

That’s what I want this season to hold.
Not just a long list of blessings.
But a heart that’s thoughtfully aware of the goodness around me,
even when grief is still growing in the cracks.

I want to see the flowers —
not in spite of the concrete,
but because of it.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.”
— Psalm 136:1 (NIV)

Burn the Ships

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There’s a phrase I’ve come to love:
Burn the ships.

It’s a metaphor rooted in a historical moment — when explorers arrived on new land and burned their ships so there was no turning back. No retreat. No plan B.
Only forward.

It means full commitment.
It means letting go of what once carried you.
It means choosing not to return to the very thing God rescued you from.

Lately, I’ve felt this stirring in my spirit —
to stop entertaining the “what ifs” and “maybes” of going back.
To stop peeking over my shoulder at the comfort of the familiar, even if the familiar was broken.
To stop waiting for closure or validation or proof that I made the right call.

Sometimes, you don’t get that.

Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is move forward anyway.

Burning the ships doesn’t mean you hate where you came from.
It just means you’re not going to live there anymore.
You’re not going to worship a past version of your life
just because it’s what you knew.

You’re going to trust the God who calls you into the unknown.
You’re going to walk away, even with trembling legs,
because you finally believe He has something better ahead.

I don’t know what your “ship” is.
But I know what mine are.
And I know the quiet freedom that comes when I set them aflame —
not in bitterness,
but in boldness.

Because sometimes the fire that ends one thing
is the same fire that lights the way forward.

Anchor Verse:
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…”
— Philippians 3:13–14 (NIV)

Learning to See What’s Holy

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

Discernment means spiritual understanding.
It’s the ability to sense or recognize what is true, right, or aligned with God —
even when things are confusing or painful.

It’s not just about decision-making.
It’s about seeing with wisdom instead of emotion alone.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if God is teaching me this.
Not by handing me answers,
but by letting me wrestle with what peace feels like.
By letting me feel the difference between what’s real and what just looks good.
By staying near while I learn how to tell the difference.

In this kind of season, discernment often doesn’t come all at once.
It’s something God shapes slowly —
in the quiet, in the questions, and in the in‑between places.

It looks like learning to tell the difference between peace and pressure.
To feel what’s rooted in Him, and what’s driven by fear or control.
It’s recognizing His presence even in hard places —
remembering that just because something hurts doesn’t mean He’s absent.
And it’s trusting His timing, even when waiting feels like a wilderness.
Because sometimes clarity grows best in the pause.

So when I asked, “Why would God allow this?”
Or, “What could He possibly be doing with this?”
Maybe part of the answer is:
He’s helping me see what’s holy in the middle of it.

Not just what’s happening,
but what He’s shaping in me as it happens.

And maybe that’s what discernment really is —
not just clarity, but closeness.

Anchor Verse
“Teach me good judgment and discernment, for I rely on your commands.”
Psalm 119:66 (CSB)

The Holes We Keep Digging

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“You’re not good enough.”
Digs hole.

“You wouldn’t be anywhere without me.”
Digs hole deeper.

“You’ll never amount to anything.”
And deeper.

“You’re crazy.”
And deeper.

“You need help.”
And deeper still.

Until the voice that started as a whisper feels like it’s echoing off the walls of the pit you’re standing in.

And then…
that’s when Satan smiles.
Because that’s exactly where he wants you — buried beneath lies that sound a little too familiar to question.

But here’s the thing:
You don’t belong in that hole.
You were never meant to live underground.

The same voice that called Lazarus out of the tomb is calling you too.
And the ground that once held you captive?
It’s shaking.

Because truth is louder than lies.
And grace is stronger than guilt.
And even here —
even now —
you can stop digging.

Anchor Verse:

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”
Psalm 40:2 (NIV)

Scared Then, Brave Now

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

Five years ago — almost to the day — I wrote these words in the notes app on my phone:

“Having faith doesn’t always mean God will change our situation, it may mean that He changes us. I prayed more fervently than ever before for the Lord to change my situation. He knew what He was doing, just like He always does, and changed me. Ultimately, my situation did change. I know now, for the better. God knows exactly where we need to be, at the exact time that we need to be there and He NEVER leaves us. I was terrified of what would come, but knew that God was in control. As Pete the Cat (and my nieces) say, ‘you have to be scared to be brave.’ I was scared, and now, now I am brave.”

Reading that now, five years later — in a season I never could’ve anticipated — I realize how true those words still are.

Life feels a little like a merry-go-round sometimes. We come back around to familiar places. We feel things we thought we’d already worked through. We revisit fears we thought we had outgrown.

And yet, God still meets us there. Every time.

I didn’t know back then that I’d need those words again now. That the prayers I whispered in that season would echo again in this one. But that’s what He does — He weaves grace through time. He anchors us with reminders from our own journey.

I was scared then.
And I’m not fearless now — not really.
But I am brave.
Because I know who’s standing beside me.

Anchor Verse:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

When I Leave My Heart Behind

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There’s a kind of quiet that follows certain goodbyes.

Not the kind that signals rest —
but the kind that hangs in the space where presence used to be.
Where laughter echoed just an hour ago.
Where tiny feet ran from room to room.
Where arms wrapped around my neck like they never wanted to let go.

And then, in an instant, it’s quiet again.

When I leave my heart behind,
I hold my breath until I get it back.

Not because I don’t trust.
Not because I’m falling apart.
But because love this deep —
the kind you carry in your bones —
doesn’t know how to exhale when part of you is missing.

Still, I’m learning…

How to breathe in the waiting.
How to find peace in the pause.
How to let the ache be evidence of love — not lack.
How to trust that what God holds, He holds well.

Some days feel heavier than others.
Some goodbyes stretch a little longer.
Some quiets echo a little louder.

But even here,
in this space between letting go and holding on again —
there is grace.

Anchor Verse:
“The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand.”
Psalm 121:5 (NIV)

It’s Okay to Feel It All

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

“There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:4)

I think about that often — especially when my heart doesn’t seem to know which one it’s doing.

Because sometimes, healing feels like both.

Like crying in the car but smiling at the checkout line.
Like praying with gratitude while still aching with grief.
Like holding a hope so fragile, you don’t even have words for it yet.

I was talking recently with a group of young women, and we started sharing what we do when we’re afraid. Some said they speak truth over themselves. Others breathe deeply or write things down. I told them that sometimes, I just let myself feel it.

Because Scripture doesn’t tell us to pretend we’re fine.
It tells us there is a time for everything.
Even fear.
Even sorrow.

Even the kind of ache you thought you should’ve outgrown by now.

So if today you find yourself smiling through tears, or laughing with something heavy still in your chest — that’s okay.

You’re allowed to feel the joy and the sorrow.
The peace and the ache.
The hope and the hurt.

Both can be holy.
Both can be part of your becoming.

Anchor Verse:
“He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

To Everything I’ve Ever Lost

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Not just what I’ve lost—but what I’ve found because of it.

We don’t always get to choose what’s taken from us. But we do get to choose what we do with the empty space that’s left behind.

And sometimes, if we’re honest, it’s not until we’re brought to our knees by loss that we look up and remember who’s been standing there all along.

That’s what this photo reminded me of:

“To everything I’ve ever lost, thank you for bringing me closer to Jesus.”

It stopped me in my tracks because it’s true. I wouldn’t wish some of the heartbreak I’ve walked through on anyone, but I also wouldn’t trade what it gave me—an intimacy with Jesus I might’ve never known otherwise.

Loss can strip us of our plans, our people, our sense of stability. But it can’t take the One who walks us through the fire.

So maybe the most unexpected gratitude we can offer is this: Thank You for the losses that led me here.

To trust. To surrender. To deeper healing. To Jesus.

Anchor Verse

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

The Nearness We Need

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

There’s a verse that always finds its way back to me when I need it most:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18

It’s tucked in the middle of a psalm filled with struggle and deliverance, fear and faith.
Just a few verses before, we’re told that God’s eyes are on the righteous.
That His ears are attentive.
That He hears, and He rescues.

But it’s this part that stills me:

He’s near.

  • Not distant.
  • Not indifferent.
  • Not waiting for you to pull yourself together.

Near.

To the brokenhearted.
To the crushed in spirit.
To the ones who don’t know what to say, but feel the ache just the same.

Sometimes we don’t need answers.
We just need assurance.

  • That we’re not alone.
  • That He sees.
  • That He stays.

And this verse — this quiet promise — is exactly that.

Anchor Passage:

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry…
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:15,17–18 (NIV)

The Things I Want to Remember About Right Now

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There are things I want to remember —
not just for the sake of memory,
but because this season is shaping me as much as it’s shaping you.

So I’m writing them down here —
quietly, softly,
like a whisper I can return to
when the house is quiet
and my arms feel too empty
or my eyes too tired
to recall the sacred weight of now.

I want to remember how small your fingers still feel in mine.
How you hand me books and sit in my lap without words.
How your whole body leans into love like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I want to remember your laugh —
the one that bubbles up from your belly when something truly delights you.
The way it catches me off guard and heals something in me every time.

I want to remember how we dance in the kitchen,
how you ask for music and raise your arms in the air
like you already know joy is meant to be embodied.

I want to remember the way your head rests on my shoulder,
not because you’re tired —
but because you’re home.

I want to remember this version of me too.
Not perfect.
Not polished.
But present.

The woman who is healing in real time.
Who cries at night and prays in whispers.
Who stretches herself thin to make sure you’re whole.

The one who is learning to slow down —
to soak in the mess, the noise, the ache and the awe of it all.

Because this isn’t just your childhood.
It’s my becoming.

Anchor Verse:

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.”
Psalm 91:4 (NIV)