spiritual growth

I Keep Reaching for an Answer

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

I keep reaching for an answer.

Not out loud.
Not in a way anyone would notice.

Just internally —
trying to line things up in a way that makes sense.

If I think about it long enough,
if I look at it from enough angles,
maybe I’ll find the piece that explains everything.

But I don’t.

And I’m starting to notice that I do this
almost automatically.

Something doesn’t make sense,
and my first instinct is to solve it.

To understand it.

To make it feel settled in my mind
so I can feel settled in myself.

But some things don’t give you that.

Some things stay unresolved
longer than you want them to.

Longer than feels comfortable.

And I think that’s the part I’ve been wrestling with.

Not the situation itself.

But the fact that I can’t make it make sense.

Because faith, for me, has always felt connected to understanding.

Like if I trust God,
things should eventually come together in a way I can follow.

But lately, it hasn’t looked like that.

It’s looked like continuing
without the explanation.

Letting things sit unfinished
without forcing them into something they’re not.

And trusting — not that I’ll figure it out —
but that I don’t have to.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
— Isaiah 55:8–9 (NIV)

Holding On by a Thread

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

I read something today that caught me off guard.

“I might be hanging on by a thread,
but it’s the thread of His garment.”

I don’t think I’ve ever thought about faith like that before.

We talk about strong faith.
Confident faith.
Faith that doesn’t waver.

But that’s not always what it looks like in real life.

Sometimes it looks thin.

Like you’re not holding everything together —
you’re just holding on.

And not even tightly.

Just enough to stay connected.

That’s what stood out to me.

Not the strength of it.
The smallness of it.

Because the woman who reached for Jesus’ garment
wasn’t making a statement.

She wasn’t trying to prove anything.

She was just trying to reach Him
in the only way she could.

And somehow, that was enough.

Not because her faith was impressive.
But because it was directed at the right place.

I think that’s what I forget.

That it doesn’t have to feel big.
Or strong.
Or even steady.

Sometimes it just has to be there.

A thread.

Not holding everything together —
just holding on to Him.

“If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”
— Mark 5:28 (NIV)

The Part We Want to Rush Through

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

I came across something today that made me pause.

For a season, David was a shepherd.
The next, he was king.

For a season, Ruth was working in the fields.
The next, she was part of something she never could have arranged on her own.

For a season, Mordecai sat outside the palace.
The next, he was brought inside.

It’s easy to read stories like that
and focus on how everything changed.

How quickly things turned.
How differently it all ended.

But that’s not how they lived it.

They lived it in the middle.

In the parts that didn’t feel significant yet.
In the waiting.
In the uncertainty.
In the seasons that probably felt uncomfortable and unclear.

And if I’m honest,
that’s the part I struggle with the most.

I don’t like sitting in seasons that don’t make sense.
I don’t like the feeling of not knowing what God is doing.
I don’t like the stretch, the tension, the waiting.

I want to move through it.
Get to the next thing.
Understand it already.

But when I read stories like these,
I’m reminded of something I don’t always want to remember.

God does some of His deepest work
in the seasons I’m most tempted to rush through.

Not after them.
Not once everything is resolved.

But right there —
in the discomfort.

In the parts that feel slow.
In the places that don’t look like anything is happening yet.

The shepherding.
The field work.
The sitting outside.

None of it was wasted.

And maybe the part I’m standing in right now
isn’t something to escape as quickly as possible.

Maybe it’s something to pay attention to.

Because it might be the very place
God is doing the work I’ll one day be grateful for.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work
— James 1:2–4 (NIV)

Faith in the Unseen Work

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

One of the hardest parts of faith
is believing something is happening
when you can’t see it.

We’re used to progress that shows itself.
Plans that unfold clearly.
Answers that arrive in ways we recognize.

But God often works differently than that.

The most important work in our lives
rarely happens where we can watch it.

It happens quietly.

In the slow reshaping of our hearts.
In the patience we didn’t used to have.
In the wisdom that grows without announcing itself.

Sometimes we want visible movement —
a clear sign that things are changing.

But faith often asks something else from us.

It asks us to trust that God is working
in places we can’t measure yet.

Beneath the surface.
Behind the scenes.
Inside the parts of us still being formed.

And maybe the real evidence of His work
isn’t always what changes around us.

Sometimes it’s the quiet awareness
that we’re learning to trust Him
even without seeing the outcome yet.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
— Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Not Flesh and Blood

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood…”

I’ve been thinking about how often we misplace our battles.

How quickly we assign faces to frustration.
Names to tension.
Blame to proximity.

It’s easier to believe the problem is the person standing in front of us.

Easier to react.
Easier to defend.
Easier to harden.

But Scripture gently reframes the fight.

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood.

Which means the war isn’t really with the person.
It’s with the fear.
The pride.
The insecurity.
The lies.
The unseen pressures shaping both of us.

This doesn’t excuse harm.
It doesn’t ignore boundaries.
It doesn’t mean you tolerate what isn’t healthy.

But it does shift the posture of your heart.

It keeps you from confusing people with enemies.

Sometimes what feels personal is spiritual.
Sometimes what feels intentional is insecurity.
Sometimes what feels like attack is simply someone else fighting their own unseen battle.

And when you remember that,
you respond differently.

You pray instead of react.
You step back instead of strike.
You guard your peace instead of trying to win.

Not because you’re passive.
But because you understand where the real battle lives.

We wrestle differently when we know what we’re actually wrestling.

And sometimes the most powerful move
is refusing to make a person your enemy.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
— Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

What Cannot Be Crushed

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed… struck down, but not destroyed.”

I’ve read those words before and heard resilience.

Lately, I hear something else.

I hear preservation.

Paul doesn’t deny the pressing.
He doesn’t pretend the blows don’t land.
He simply draws a line between what touches the outside
and what reaches the inside.

Hard pressed — but not crushed.
Struck down — but not destroyed.

There is something in the believer that cannot be flattened.

Not because we are strong enough.
But because Christ in us is.

Life can press.
People can misunderstand.
Plans can shift.
Expectations can collapse.

But the Spirit of God within you?
Untouched.

That’s the miracle.

The world can affect your circumstances.
It cannot dismantle your identity.

It can exhaust your body.
It cannot erase your belonging.

It can knock you down.
It cannot take what God has planted.

Maybe that’s what this verse is really about —
not grit.
Not toughness.
Not proving how much you can endure.

But the quiet truth that there is something eternal in you.
Something anchored.
Something held.

You may feel pressed.
But what matters most in you
is not crushable.

“Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
— Colossians 1:27 (NIV)

Ready or Not

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

How do you prepare yourself for parts of your life you didn’t want or ask for?

Because, ready or not, life is happening.

There was a time when “fake it till you make it” felt motivating.
Now it just feels exhausting.

I don’t want to fake strength.
I don’t want to pretend I’m unbothered.
I don’t want to convince myself I’m fine if I’m not.

It’s okay to not be okay —
and still be okay.

Maybe preparation doesn’t look like bracing.
Maybe it looks like breathing.

Maybe it’s not about forcing courage —
but about letting trust take root in places we didn’t choose.

Some seasons aren’t something you gear up for.
They simply arrive.

And you either tighten up against them,
or you learn to stand quietly inside them.

I’m learning that strength doesn’t always look like certainty.
Sometimes it looks like surrender.
Like rest.
Like quiet trust in the middle of the unfamiliar.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
‘In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength.’”
— Isaiah 30:15 (NIV)

I Don’t Need to Know Yet

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

There’s a strange pressure to have clarity.

To know where this is going.
To understand what it means.
To be able to explain it in a way that feels tidy and complete.

But sometimes life isn’t ready to be explained.

Sometimes it’s just being lived.

And I’m learning that not knowing doesn’t mean I’m lost.
It doesn’t mean I’ve missed something.
It doesn’t mean God is withholding.

It just means I’m still inside the story.

There are chapters you can only understand once you’ve turned the page.
And if I try to summarize too soon, I’ll miss the depth of what’s still unfolding.

So tonight, I’m loosening my grip on the need to define everything.

I don’t need to know yet.

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us…”
— Deuteronomy 29:29 (NIV)

Hope, Defined

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

The dictionary defines hope as
a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

I’ve always found that definition a little fragile.

Because feelings change.
Expectations disappoint.
And desire doesn’t always mean fulfillment.

If hope is just wishful thinking — just wanting things to turn out a certain way — then it’s easy to lose when life doesn’t cooperate.

But Scripture speaks about hope differently.

Biblical hope isn’t rooted in circumstances or outcomes.
It isn’t dependent on how things look today, or whether prayers are answered quickly, or whether the story unfolds the way we imagined.

Biblical hope is confidence — not in what will happen, but in Who is holding it all.

It’s the kind of hope that remains when the waiting is long.
The kind that stays when answers don’t come right away.
The kind that doesn’t collapse when life feels uncertain.

This kind of hope isn’t passive or naïve.
It’s anchored.

It doesn’t say, “Everything will work out the way I want.”
It says, “God is still good, even here.”

And sometimes, that’s the difference between despair and endurance.

On days when hope feels thin, I’m learning to come back to this truth:
Hope isn’t pretending things are easy.
It’s choosing to trust that God is faithful — even when things are not.

That kind of hope doesn’t fade when circumstances change.
It deepens.

And that’s the kind of hope I want to hold onto.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
— Hebrews 6:19 (NIV)

God Has a Plan for It All

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

Oftentimes, we confuse the idea of “it’s all a part of God’s plan” with “God has a plan for it all.”

And that confusion matters.

Because when we tell ourselves that everything is part of His plan, it can make suffering feel unbearable to reconcile.
If God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving — why didn’t He step in?
Why didn’t He stop it?
Why did He allow me to live through this?

Those questions are deeply human. And they’re honest.

But reframing it this way changes something in me:

God has a plan for it all.

Not that He authored the pain.
Not that He desired the tragedy.
But that He is able to redeem it.

God has a plan to use our suffering.
A plan to use our brokenness.
A plan to take the scars we never asked for and turn them into places of compassion.

He meets us in our pain — and then, through it, gives us the ability to meet others in theirs.

Not because the suffering was good.
But because He is.

“For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver…
we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.”
— Psalm 66:10–12a (NIV)