Hungry for More

Lately, I’ve felt hungry for more.

Not more stuff.

Not more achievement.

Not even more time.

Just more.

More stillness.

More patience.

More energy.

More confidence.

More purpose in the work I do.

More awareness of the opportunities God places in front of me.

And for a while, I wondered if that made me ungrateful.

Because I have so much to be thankful for.

But I don’t think gratitude and hunger are opposites.

I think sometimes they exist together.

I can be grateful for where I am
while still believing God isn’t finished growing me.

I can appreciate this season
while still feeling drawn toward something deeper.

Maybe that’s what hunger is.

Not dissatisfaction.

Invitation.


“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you…”
— Psalm 63:1 (NIV)

Trusting or Analyzing?

I’m starting to wonder if sometimes I’ve mistaken analyzing for trusting.

I tell myself I’m processing.

Thinking things through.
Trying to understand.
Trying to prepare for every possible outcome.
Trying to make sense of things that don’t make sense.

And to a point, that’s healthy.

But eventually there comes a moment when all the thinking stops producing clarity.

And starts producing exhaustion.

A moment when I’m no longer seeking understanding.

I’m seeking control.

Because if I can understand it,
I can predict it.

If I can predict it,
I can prepare for it.

And if I can prepare for it,
maybe it won’t hurt so much.

But that’s not trust.

Trust doesn’t require me to know every outcome.

Trust doesn’t demand an explanation for every uncertainty.

Trust says:

I don’t know exactly how this unfolds, but I know Who does.

And honestly?

I think that’s where I get stuck sometimes.

Not because I don’t trust God.

But because I trust my own analysis more than His ability to hold what I can’t understand.

And that’s a difficult thing to admit.

Because there are situations in life that simply refuse to fit neatly into a spreadsheet.

Questions that don’t get answered on my timeline.

Problems that can’t be solved by thinking about them one more time.

At some point, faith asks me to set down the calculator.

Not because understanding is bad.

But because understanding was never meant to replace trust.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
— Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)

God Has Been Patient With Me

The more life I experience,
the more I notice how patient God has been with me.

Patient in my waiting.
Patient in my overthinking.
Patient in the ways I’ve circled the same fears more than once.

And honestly,
I don’t think I always extend that same patience to myself.

I expect myself to heal faster.
Trust quicker.
Understand things immediately.

I get frustrated when I feel like I’m still struggling with something
I thought I should’ve moved past already.

But God doesn’t seem to respond to us that way.

Over and over throughout scripture,
He remains steady with people while they learn.

While they doubt.
While they wander.
While they ask the same questions again and again.

And maybe that’s part of grace too.

Not just that we’re loved.

But that we’re loved patiently.

Not rushed.
Not discarded when growth takes time.

Just gently led forward,
again and again.


“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed…”
— Psalm 103:13–14 (NIV)

I Missed This About Being Younger

I think one of the strangest parts of getting older
is realizing how little it takes to make a day feel full when you’re young.

A late-night drive.
A gas station drink.
A random conversation that lasts too long.
Music playing too loud in the car for no reason.

And somehow, that was enough.

Now life feels so much more structured.

Schedules.
Responsibilities.
Appointments.
Trying to remember everything all the time.

And I don’t necessarily miss being younger.

But I do think I miss the lightness of it sometimes.

The ability to be fully present somewhere
without mentally standing in three other places at once.

And maybe adulthood is partly learning
how to find that again.

Not by going backwards.

But by remembering that life is still happening
inside the ordinary moments too.

Not just inside the stressful ones.


“However many years anyone may live, let them enjoy them all…”
— Ecclesiastes 11:8 (NIV)

It Changed the Way I Saw Hardship

I heard someone say recently,

“The devil doesn’t need to make life harder
for those who are already his.”

And while I don’t think life is always that simple,
the statement stayed with me.

Because for a long time,
I think part of me believed
that following God closely
would eventually lead to an easier life.

More peace.
More clarity.
Less resistance.

But that’s not actually what Scripture promises.

If anything,
some of the people closest to God in the Bible
walked through tremendous suffering.

Not because God abandoned them.

But because hardship and holiness
have never been mutually exclusive.

And honestly,
that changed the way I started viewing difficult seasons.

Not as proof that God is absent.
Not as punishment.
Not as failure.

But as part of living in a broken world
while still trying to remain anchored to Him inside of it.

Because faith was never about avoiding hardship.

It was about knowing Who remains beside you through it.


“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
— John 16:33 (NIV)

The Flowers I Didn’t Plant

I’ve been thinking about the things that grow in us
that we never intentionally planted.

Not strength itself—
I’ve spent years trying to become stronger.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

But there are other things
I didn’t realize were growing too.

Discernment.
Resilience.
Perspective.

A deeper understanding of myself.
Of people.
Of God.

Somehow, they grew quietly in the background
while I was busy just trying to make it through certain seasons.

And that’s what surprises me sometimes—

How growth can happen
simultaneously with grief.

You don’t always notice it immediately.

You’re too close to it.
Too inside of it.

But one day you look at yourself
and realize something exists in you now
that didn’t before.

Not because you chased it.

But because God was still growing things
even in seasons that felt uncertain.

Maybe that’s the strange beauty of life.

That even painful seasons
can leave something beautifully meaningful behind.

Flowers we never meant to plant.


“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
— Romans 5:3–4 (NIV)

Rest Isn’t Weakness

This has been a hard week for me.

And if I’m honest,
I don’t always know what to do with that.

Because I’ve spent a long time believing
that being tired meant I wasn’t handling things well enough.

That if I were stronger,
more disciplined,
more capable—

I wouldn’t feel so worn down sometimes.

So I push through it.

I try to stay productive.
Stay positive.
Stay okay.

And most of the time,
I don’t even talk about how tired I really am.

Because somewhere along the way,
I started associating rest with weakness.

But there comes a point
where your mind, your body, even your spirit
start asking for something different.

Not more effort.

Just rest.

And I’m starting to realize
that surrendering to rest
doesn’t mean I’m giving up.

It means I’m human.

It means I was never meant
to carry everything endlessly
without stopping to breathe.

And maybe resting isn’t weakness after all.

Maybe it’s trust.

Trust that the world won’t fall apart
if I stop striving for a moment.

Trust that God can hold things together
even when I finally let myself be still.


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

The Version of Me I Used to Picture

I used to picture adulthood differently.

Not in a big, dramatic way.

Just… more certain.

I thought by this point in my life,
I would feel more settled in my decisions.
More confident in where things were headed.
More sure of how everything would turn out.

And sometimes I think about that version of me—
the one I imagined years ago—
and wonder what she would think of the life I’m living now.

Not because it’s bad.

Just because it’s different.

There are parts of my life
I never would have predicted.

Parts that stretched me.
Parts that humbled me.
Parts that forced me to become someone stronger than I planned on needing to be.

And honestly?

I think the younger version of me
would be surprised by how much beauty can still exist
inside a life that didn’t go according to plan.


“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
— Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

Motherhood Isn’t a Simple Thing

Motherhood is defined as the state or experience of being a mother.

But that feels far too small for what it actually is.

Because motherhood isn’t just a role.

It’s nurturing.
Protecting.
Guiding.
Sacrificing.
Loving someone so deeply
that their needs begin to shape the rhythm of your entire life.

But real motherhood is also contradiction.

It’s joy and grief existing at the same time.

It’s being needed constantly
while sometimes feeling invisible.

It’s loving your child more than you thought possible
while quietly grieving the parts of motherhood
you thought would look different.

And I think that’s the part people don’t talk about enough.

That you can deeply love being a mother
and still mourn what motherhood was supposed to look like.

Those things can exist together.

Because motherhood changes everything.

Not just your schedule or your responsibilities—

you.

The way you think.
The way you carry stress.
The way you move through the world.
The way your heart exists outside of your own body now.

And good mothers carry so much of that quietly.

The mental weight.
The emotional weight.
The constant awareness of someone else’s needs.

Showing up over and over again,
even when they’re exhausted.

Even when they feel stretched thin.

Even when it doesn’t look the way they once imagined.

And maybe that’s why motherhood is so sacred.

Because at its core,
it’s love in its most selfless form.

Not perfect.

Not easy.

But steadfast.

Again and again.


“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…”
— Isaiah 66:13 (NIV)

I Think I’m Learning to Slow Down

I think I’m learning to slow down a little.

Not in a dramatic, life-changing way.

Just in the small moments.

Not rushing through every silence.
Not feeling like every second needs to be filled.
Not needing every day to feel productive to feel worthwhile.

And honestly, I didn’t realize how uncomfortable that was for me before.

How quickly I move from one thing to the next.
How easily I convince myself that resting has to be earned.

But lately, I’ve been noticing the difference.

How much calmer life feels
when I stop trying to outrun it.

Not everything needs my immediate attention.
Not every quiet moment needs to be interrupted.

Some things can just be still.

And maybe I can too.


“Be still, and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10 (NIV)