Motherhood Isn’t a Simple Thing

Motherhood is defined as the state or experience of being a mother.

But that feels far too small for what it actually is.

Because motherhood isn’t just a role.

It’s nurturing.
Protecting.
Guiding.
Sacrificing.
Loving someone so deeply
that their needs begin to shape the rhythm of your entire life.

But real motherhood is also contradiction.

It’s joy and grief existing at the same time.

It’s being needed constantly
while sometimes feeling invisible.

It’s loving your child more than you thought possible
while quietly grieving the parts of motherhood
you thought would look different.

And I think that’s the part people don’t talk about enough.

That you can deeply love being a mother
and still mourn what motherhood was supposed to look like.

Those things can exist together.

Because motherhood changes everything.

Not just your schedule or your responsibilities—

you.

The way you think.
The way you carry stress.
The way you move through the world.
The way your heart exists outside of your own body now.

And good mothers carry so much of that quietly.

The mental weight.
The emotional weight.
The constant awareness of someone else’s needs.

Showing up over and over again,
even when they’re exhausted.

Even when they feel stretched thin.

Even when it doesn’t look the way they once imagined.

And maybe that’s why motherhood is so sacred.

Because at its core,
it’s love in its most selfless form.

Not perfect.

Not easy.

But steadfast.

Again and again.


“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…”
— Isaiah 66:13 (NIV)

I Didn’t Sit Through the Sermon

I was walking around the church with my son during service.

Our building is set up in a circle,
with the auditorium in the center.

So as I followed him around—
passing by the doors,
catching glimpses of everyone sitting inside—

I had a thought I didn’t expect.

This is hard right now.

Not being able to sit through a full sermon.
Not being in the room the whole time.
Not experiencing church the way I used to.

But it would be so much harder
if this looked different later.

If he were older
and I was trying to convince him to come.

Trying to get him to sit.
Trying to get him to care.

Because right now?

He loves it.

He loves going to church.
He loves going to Bible class.
He wants to be here.

And I realized something in that moment.

Even though I haven’t sat through a full sermon
in quite some time…

I’m still being taught.

Just not in the way I expected.

Not from a stage.
Not from a seat.

But in the middle of following him around,
in the middle of these small, shifting moments—

there’s still something to take in.

And maybe I’m learning just as much as he is.


“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
— Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

Tired in a Way I Didn’t Expect

Do you ever feel guilty for being tired?

Not just tired from doing too much.
But tired from doing something
you’ve wanted to do for a long time.

Something that matters.

Something you don’t even get to do every day.

And somehow, that makes the tiredness feel heavier.

Because it doesn’t feel like something
you’re allowed to be worn down by.

It feels like something you should just be grateful for.

And I am.

I am grateful.

But I’m also tired.

And I’m starting to realize
those two things can exist at the same time.

That being thankful
doesn’t cancel out being human.

That doing something meaningful
doesn’t mean it won’t still take something out of you.

And maybe the guilt
comes from thinking it’s supposed to feel easier than it does.

But maybe it’s not.

Maybe it’s just something I’m learning how to hold.

Gratitude
and exhaustion
at the same time.


“Let us not become weary in doing good…”
— Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

The Version of Me I Don’t Show

There’s a version of me that moves through the day just fine.

She answers texts.
She smiles at the store.
She gets things done.
She sounds steady.

And then there’s the version of me that sits in the car for an extra minute before going inside.

The one who replays conversations.
The one who wonders if she said too much — or not enough.
The one who is tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.

Both versions are real.

I think we underestimate how much energy it takes to carry yourself well when life feels heavier than usual.

Not because you’re pretending.
But because you’re choosing not to unravel in public.

And that’s not dishonesty.
That’s discernment.

Not everyone gets access to your processing.
Not everyone needs to witness the unraveling.
Some spaces are for composure.
Some are for collapse.
Some are just for you and God.

I’m learning that strength isn’t the absence of struggle.
It’s knowing where to lay it down.

Maybe that’s just what it looks like to keep going.

There’s nothing wrong with the version of you that keeps going.
And there’s nothing wrong with the version of you that needs a minute.

You’re allowed to hold both.


“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.”

— Psalm 139:1–2 (NIV)

The Cart in Front of Me

We were at the store today.

The kind with oversized carts and bulk everything.
Long lines.
Bright lights.
People moving in every direction.

It was ordinary.
Unremarkable.

And yet I found myself noticing the carts in front of me.

An older couple walking slowly together.
A dad with his child perched up front, one small hand gripping the handle.
Moms with theirs tucked close, little feet kicking against the metal bar.

Everyone pushing something.

And it struck me —
we never really know what someone is carrying.

Not just what’s stacked in their cart.
But what’s stacked in their life.

We see the cereal boxes.
The paper towels.
The cases of water.

We don’t see the schedules.
The grief.
The exhaustion.
The quiet prayers whispered in parking lots.

We move around each other.
Offer small smiles.
Shift our carts to make room.

But every person in that building was holding something invisible.

And so was I.

There’s something steadying about remembering that.

It makes me softer.
Slower to assume.
Quicker to extend grace.

Because the world is full of people carrying more than we can see.

And sometimes,
all we can do
is push what’s in front of us
and trust that God sees the weight of it all.


“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
— 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

All Is Calm

All is calm.
All is right.

After days of holding my breath,
my heart settles back into its familiar rhythm.

Little hands back where they belong.
Laughter echoing through rooms that felt too quiet.
Christmas lights glowing a little warmer tonight.

Nothing extravagant.
Nothing loud.

Just presence.
Just peace returning to its place.

And as the house grows still,
I let myself rest in it—

grateful,
grounded,
home again.


“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.”
— Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

The Space Between

This evening begins 6 days —
144 hours.
8,640 minutes

without my whole heart with me.

That number makes my chest tighten a little.

None of this timing was mine to choose.
The plans were made. The schedule laid out.
And I’ve been quietly dreading it ever since.

Time is strange, isn’t it?
We beg it to slow down —
then suddenly, we need it to fly.
To disappear.
To carry us somewhere that doesn’t ache quite so much.

I think these are the moments that shape us most.
The ones where everything feels stretched —
heart, soul, time.

And here I am, sitting in it.

I could resist it.
Run from it.
Let the ache name me.

Or I could do the harder thing:
lean in.
Not into the absence —
but into the One who meets me here.

I’m not sure what the next 8,640 minutes will hold.
But I know this:
I won’t walk through a single one of them alone.


“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
— John 14:18 (KJV)

Behind the Box

I found this tucked behind a box I picked up at Costco the other day.

I was just moving through the motions of my day — nothing special, just errands and the usual rhythm. But then, there it was:

A handwritten verse in orange marker, outlined in cloud shapes:

I stood there for a second, just looking at it — like I had been smacked in the face with God’s love when I least expected it.

I looked around, wondering if someone was watching, hoping to see someone smile as they saw me find it.
I even thought about leaving it behind — maybe someone else needed the reminder more than I did.
Maybe someone who didn’t know God yet.

But then it hit me.

I was the one who needed to find it.
I was the one who needed to taste and see.
I was the one who needed that gentle reminder that God is still good… right here, in the middle of my everyday.

So I tucked it in my purse and continued on my way —
pushing the cart with little feet kicking along,
feeling the truth settle into my heart again:

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.

And oh, how blessed I am.


“O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”
— Psalm 34:8 (KJV)

What I Hope He Remembers

I won’t be a perfect mother.
But I hope he remembers the kind of love that stayed.

I hope he remembers arms that held him close,
even when the world felt unsteady.
A voice that whispered comfort,
even when mine was tired.
A presence that didn’t walk away —
not in the chaos,
not in the quiet,
not in the mess.

And maybe, just maybe,
that kind of love will remind him of God’s.

Because if I’ve learned anything,
it’s that His love shows up the same way —
not waiting for the mess to be cleaned up,
not holding back until we’re stronger,
but entering in, again and again,
with kindness, patience, and grace.

That’s the kind of love I want to model.
Not flawless,
but faithful.
Not perfect,
but present.

So no, I won’t get it all right.
But I hope he sees the reflection —
of a God who stays.
Of a love that never leaves.
Of grace that shows up in the middle and calls it holy.


“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
— 1 John 4:16 (NIV)

The Little Things

It’s in the little things.
The quiet things.
The things you don’t always think to write down.

Like playing chase around the house,
laughing so hard your sides ache.

Reading the same children’s book 15 times in a row
because that’s what love does.

Living in our jammies on cold days
with no real plans but each other.

These are the pieces I’ll miss one day.
The ordinary ones that don’t look like much —
until they’re gone.

So tonight, I’m not chasing more.
I’m just noticing what’s already here.

And giving thanks
for the beautiful, holy smallness of it all.

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it.”
Proverbs 15:16 (ESV)