spiritual growth

Honesty, Lately

/ Baylee Snelling / Leave a comment

I chose my word for the new year to be honesty —
and honestly, I’ve been seeing life through a more honest lens just by setting that intention.

I’ve been more honest with myself about how I’m actually feeling.
More honest with others, too.
Not forcing myself to push through when I know I need to be still.

That honesty has softened things.
It’s made room for rest instead of resistance.

And it’s shifted the way I see people.

I feel like I notice intentions more clearly now —
not in a suspicious way,
just with awareness.

Whether someone is being honest or not.

And instead of trying to correct it or carry it,
I’m learning to simply see it…
and respond accordingly.

“Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.”
— Psalm 51:6 (NIV)

Eggshell Seasons

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There are seasons of life where everything feels fragile.

Where you move carefully.
Speak softly.
Think twice before every step.

Not because you’re weak —
but because the ground beneath you doesn’t feel steady yet.

These are the eggshell seasons.
The ones where peace feels conditional,
where tension lingers in the air,
where even rest feels earned instead of given.

And they’re exhausting.

It’s hard to live constantly bracing yourself.
Hard to feel fully present when you’re always preparing for impact.
Hard to relax when you don’t know what might crack next.

But here’s what I’m learning:
God does not confuse fragility with failure.

He sees the careful steps.
The restraint.
The wisdom it takes to survive seasons like this without becoming hardened or bitter.

Eggshell seasons teach us something sacred —
how to listen more closely,
how to depend more deeply,
how to notice where our true safety comes from.

Because eventually, you realize:
The goal isn’t to learn how to walk better on eggshells.
The goal is to let God lead you off of them.

Until then, He walks with you.
Not rushing you.
Not shaming you for your caution.
Not demanding strength you don’t have yet.

Just steady presence.
Quiet protection.
Enough grace for today.

“You provide a broad path for my feet,
so that my ankles do not give way.”
— Psalm 18:36 (NIV)

Faith, Defined

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for,
the conviction of things not seen.”

I’ve read that verse so many times.
But lately, it feels less like a definition
and more like a description of how I’m living.

Faith isn’t certainty.
It’s not clarity.
It’s not having the outcome in hand.

It’s waking up and choosing hope anyway.
Trusting something is forming,
even when you can’t see it yet.
Standing on ground that feels steady
only because you believe it is.

Faith is quiet like that.
Unimpressive.
Unseen.
But strong enough to hold a life together.

“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
— Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

Things I Don’t Have Language For Yet

/ Baylee Snelling / 2 Comments

There are things in my life right now that I don’t have words for.

Not because I’m avoiding them.
Not because I’m pretending they don’t exist.
But because they haven’t settled into language yet.

They live somewhere deeper than explanation.
Somewhere between what’s happened and what I understand about it.
Somewhere I’m still learning how to sit with.

I’ve noticed how quickly we’re expected to name things.
To define them.
To explain how we feel and why and what it all means.

But not everything arrives with clarity.
Some things take time before they can be spoken honestly.

So for now, I’m letting a few things remain unnamed.
Not hidden — just unfinished.

I trust that when the words come, they’ll come gently.
And until then, it’s okay to live with what I don’t yet know how to say.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
— Romans 8:26 (NIV)

Still With Me

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

There’s a quiet reassurance woven through Scripture that I keep coming back to —
the reminder that God doesn’t leave when life feels unsettled.

Not when faith feels steady.
Not when it feels thin.
Not when the questions linger longer than the answers.

He stays.

Sometimes I think we expect God’s nearness to feel dramatic —
a sudden clarity, a strong emotion, a sense of certainty.
But more often, His presence feels like something quieter.

Like endurance.
Like steadiness.
Like the ability to keep showing up even when the path isn’t clear.

This kind of faith doesn’t always announce itself.
It simply remains.

And maybe that’s what Sunday is for —
not to arrive with everything resolved,
but to remember that we’re not walking alone into the week ahead.

God is still with us.
Still faithful.
Still holding what we can’t.

That truth doesn’t remove the weight of life,
but it does make it a little more bearable.

And sometimes, that’s enough.

“The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.”
— Psalm 145:18 (NIV)

Not a Resolution

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

Every year around this time, we’re encouraged to dream big.
Pick a word.
Set a goal.
Decide who you’re going to be by December.

So we do.

And then, quietly, we find ourselves standing at the corner of
“This was too lofty”
and
“I’ve already let myself down”
by the time February rolls around.

I’m learning that maybe the problem isn’t our lack of discipline —
it’s the pressure to become someone overnight.

This year, I’ve gone back and forth between words like steadfast and courageous.
Both good. Both meaningful.

But the word that keeps returning —
the one that feels less like a goal and more like a posture —
is honesty.

Honesty about what I’m carrying.
About what I can give.
About where I actually am, not where I think I should be by now.

So instead of asking who I want to be by the end of the year,
I’m asking something smaller, quieter, and more livable:

How do I want to live today?

And right now, the answer looks like this:
with honesty — toward God, toward others, and toward myself.

That feels like enough to begin.

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”
— Psalm 51:6 (NIV)

I’m Not Waiting for Closure

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

For a long time, I thought closure was something I needed in order to move forward.
A conversation.
An apology.
An explanation that made everything make sense.

But life doesn’t always offer that.

Some stories don’t wrap up neatly.
Some questions stay unanswered.
Some endings come without the clarity we hoped for.

And waiting for closure can quietly turn into waiting on life to begin again.

Lately, I’ve been realizing that I don’t have to wait for everything to make sense before I keep living.
I don’t need every loose end tied.
I don’t need a final chapter before I turn the page.

There’s a different kind of peace that comes from accepting what is —
from releasing the need to understand it all
and choosing to move forward anyway.

Not because it didn’t matter.
But because I matter too.

So I’m not waiting for closure.
I’m choosing presence.
I’m choosing the next right step.
I’m choosing to live fully in the middle — even if some things remain unfinished.

And that feels like freedom.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
— Isaiah 43:18–19 (NIV)

Held by His Faithfulness

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

Some weeks remind me just how fragile I am.
How easily shaken.
How much I want certainty, protection, assurance that nothing will slip through my fingers.

And then I remember this truth:

I am not held by my own strength.
I am held by His faithfulness.

Scripture doesn’t promise that life will be easy or predictable.
But it does promise something better — something steadier.

God is faithful.
Not occasionally.
Not when circumstances cooperate.
But always.

He strengthens us not just for what we can see,
but for what we can’t.
For fears we don’t yet have language for.
For discouragement that creeps in quietly.

There is comfort in knowing that even when I feel unsure,
even when my footing feels unsteady,
even when I don’t trust myself to hold it all together —

He does.

So this Sunday, I’m not asking for perfect peace or clear answers.
I’m resting in the kind of security that doesn’t depend on either.

The faithfulness of God is enough to stand on.
Enough to trust.
Enough to carry me through whatever comes next.

“But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”
— 2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV)

The Quiet Test

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

Every time I start to feel like God isn’t there,
I remember something simple:

The teacher is always quiet during the test.

Silence doesn’t mean absence.
Sometimes it means you’re being trusted to keep going
with what you already know —
the truth you’ve learned, the faith you’ve practiced,
the strength you didn’t know you were building.

Because tests aren’t meant to feel easy.
They’re meant to reveal who you’re becoming.

Not in moments of certainty,
but in the quiet ones —
where you choose to stay faithful without being reminded why.

And maybe that’s the real work of the silence:
not to break you,
but to form something steady that lasts.

“Let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”
— James 1:4 (CSB)

The Space Between

/ Baylee Snelling / 1 Comment

This evening begins 6 days —
144 hours.
8,640 minutes
without my whole heart with me.

That number makes my chest tighten a little.

None of this timing was mine to choose.
The plans were made. The schedule laid out.
And I’ve been quietly dreading it ever since.

Time is strange, isn’t it?
We beg it to slow down —
then suddenly, we need it to fly.
To disappear.
To carry us somewhere that doesn’t ache quite so much.

I think these are the moments that shape us most.
The ones where everything feels stretched —
heart, soul, time.

And here I am, sitting in it.

I could resist it.
Run from it.
Let the ache name me.

Or I could do the harder thing:
lean in.
Not into the absence —
but into the One who meets me here.

I’m not sure what the next 8,640 minutes will hold.
But I know this:
I won’t walk through a single one of them alone.

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
— John 14:18 (KJV)